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		<title>Raining cats and dogs and blokes in high-vis vests</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
A cherry-picker investigates a tree from the inside. Click for a larger version on the ABC website. Photo credit: ABC News: Karl Hoerr

See the open window at the top? That’s my office. Read the full story here:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/27/2256870.htm
The boom arm on the cherry picker, which is essentially a steel I-beam about 80cm square, bent in half [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2008/05/28/high-vis/</link>
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		<title>A milkshake for Dennis</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You will be gratified to read that sensation is returning to my tongue. Obviously I don't know why that news should affect you so, but that's hardly my fault, is it? You sicken me. There, I've said it. No, wait: I love you. Let's never argue again. Have a peanut. I wonder what they make the stuff out of that goes in dental anaesthetic?]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/05/24/a-milkshake-for-dennis/</link>
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		<title>Viva El Chupacabra</title>
		<description><![CDATA[What is the name, beginning with C, of the wild dog native to Mexico and the south-western USA?
To hear possibly the most foolish of all possible answers to this question, Australian readers should tune in to Temptation, Channel Nine tomorrow (Wednesday 23 May 2007) night at 7pm to watch yours truly mistake a medium-sized quadruped [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/05/22/viva-el-chupacabra/</link>
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		<title>Thai food nearly broke my ankle</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Weâ€™ve ordered Thai food. â€œThey say we can pick it up in twenty minutes,â€ says the Evil Sulphura.
â€œWe should leave here in twenty minutes,â€ I say. â€œIt always takes at least half an hour, and I always end up sitting in that crowded bit at the front, waiting with all the other gullible losers who [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/05/05/thai-food-nearly-broke-my-ankle/</link>
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		<title>I still like your trousers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The cafÃ© is crowded, which gives me a chance to slink in undetected and loiter at the back to observe Justin. He is doling out muffins, coffee and bons mots with charismatic zeal to jonesing office-workers who offer little in the way of intercourse.

Certainly, less than I did.]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/03/07/i-still-like-your-trousers/</link>
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		<title>A trousers-based catastrophe</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In a typically elegant bit of blog maintenance, I've managed to delete the original post, and although it has been recovered and re-posted, all your immoderately sympathetic comments are lost. Mea maxima culpa.]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/03/05/a-trousers-based-catastrophe/</link>
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		<title>I like your trousers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I exit the office bursting with self-esteem and skip out onto Swanston Street with an impromptu soft-shoe shuffle of which Gregory Hines would have been proud. It's a beautiful day, the finest in nearly a decade, for today I am bound for a cafÃ© at which I intend to purchase a cup of coffee.

Full strength coffee.]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/03/05/i-like-your-trousers/</link>
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		<title>Of human Bondage</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Oscar, The Evil Sulphura and I have gone to see the new Bond film, <em>Casino Royale</em>. The first ten minutes takes place in a menâ€™s bathroom, in which a fight involving broken urinals and wildly spraying plumbing leads neatly into Bondâ€™s iconic flip-around-and-shoot-the-cameraman move.

It is exciting and violent and it awakens an urge deep in my bladder.]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2007/01/02/of-human-bondage/</link>
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		<title>His amusing balloon animals in a vice</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The following true story contains a greater proportion of uncouth words than is normally tolerated here at matlarkin.com. In keeping with our federal governmentâ€™s push for a return to traditional family values, therefore, these have been substituted with family-friendly equivalents and italicised for reference. We trust this will not affect the reading experience. Thank you for your time.]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2006/11/17/his-amusing-balloon-animals-in-a-vice/</link>
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		<title>Our condolences also go to the Irish Rovers.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[What are we to do, when the impending choice is between the Devil and an eejit?]]></description>
		<link>http://matlarkin.com/2006/11/17/our-condolences-also-go-to-the-irish-rovers/</link>
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