Monthly Archives: June 2006

The semi-requited novelist

By Mat | Published: June 29, 2006
People are asking me questions. "Yes," they say, "it's all very well, all this business with burgling and urine portage and the lesser-known works of Danny DeVito, but didn't you used to be an unrequited novelist?" "Well--" I say, but they interrupt me.
Posted in Evil Sulphura, The, The Last Monk, sandwiches, success, writing | Comments closed

Trow your mama off de tram

By Mat | Published: June 9, 2006
"I tell you vot: you know dat - vot he called - de liddle vun?" "Did you take your pill this morning?" "Shadap, I break you head. No, de liddle vun - Danny DeVito. You know him?" "I put it on the counter with your tea."
Posted in Danny DeVito, micturation | Comments closed

Unfa­vour­able in appear­ance, devel­op­ment or behaviour

By Mat | Published: June 6, 2006
I’m afraid this is going to be an unpleasant story, for it begins with the following words: I am sprinting desperately up Lygon Street at three minutes to five shaking a jar of my own urine.
Posted in caffeine, complete mortification, micturation, wrath | Comments closed