Monthly Archives: July 2005

scis­sors and paste

By Mat | Published: July 26, 2005
There's a kind of archaeology in the editing process. Having finished a rough first draft of The Last Monk about three weeks ago, I've spent much of the intervening time reading and re-reading the entire manuscript, picking out everything from typos and bad grammar, through inelegant sentence structure to the high-end narrative and character lines which should drive the book.
Posted in The Last Monk, editing, extracts | Comments closed

Eng­lischsch­lichacha (part two)

By Mat | Published: July 18, 2005
We looked at the football players. They looked at us. One of them had a whisk. This is not a euphemism. "What did you guys get kicked out of?" asked my new partner. "Engleschlitchacha," I twitched. "Oh great," he said. "Not just nerds. Retards, too."
Posted in complete mortification, drinking, neurosis | Comments closed

Eng­lischsch­lichacha (part one)

By Mat | Published: July 14, 2005
I have a terrible, humiliating and very specific speech impediment. I find it painfully impossible to pronounce the term 'English Literature' in mixed company. I can say 'Russian Literature'. I can say 'English cricket team'. Hell, I can say 'Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoevskij' without blinking, but I honestly cannot say 'English Literature' without dislocating my mandible. It has haunted me since I was sixteen when, in a profoundly influential life event, I was psychologically traumatised by a bowl of scone dough. There is an explanation for this, but to make it requires that we briefly revisit a party I attended a couple of weeks ago.
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